Truth be told...had things panned out differently, I absolutely would have put a ring on her finger by now. I envisioned the look on her face, the gaze in her eyes when I'd have proposed. I envisioned our wedding day. I envisioned our first place together. I envisioned going to our room...to our bed. I envisioned waking up to her as often as I could. I envisioned holding her and falling asleep to her loud ass snores.

Ok.

I don't know why I am having these thoughts.

Obviously we're not together and have not been for a long time. I have definitely moved on.
Life is weird tho.

When you think you have an one up on your future, life shakes things up. That's ok.
Things have to get shaken up sometimes in order to blend separate parts together as one.
Our problem was...

I am water,
she is oil.

We weren't made to stay connected or become one.
Could we have lived in unison? Perhaps, but as our own entities.

You can't mix oil and water as hard, or as aggressively, as you try.
I learned that the difficult way but I am aware.

In the future, I want to be refreshed with oceans as vast as my imagination.
I want to think I'm drowning in someone's intention...in their soul.
I want them to allow my fluidity to absorb in their pores.
I want us to be able to blend without the necessity of being rocked into coercion.
I want us to have the option of being replenished from one another if depleted or simply desired.
I want us to have comfort in knowing that although we can cover more ground together, individually there's depth.

Hmm.