Bio

You can think of me as a painting unfinished with a few strokes of color on a canvas...and you have two choices...admire the art as it's drawn or add some depth of your own.

Narrow.

Some people can't handle traffic so they stay on the same road. And when one stays on the same road, they have but one place to end...if they make it that far.

Prayer...

My QOTD(Question Of The Day) for today was "How often do you pray?" Mostly everyone said, "not enough" or "not as often as I should." So I'm curious, how often is enough? I pray most times[I can't say nights because of 'irregular' sleeping patterns] before I fall asleep, maybe 75% before I eat and say quite a few small ones throughout the day either aloud or in my thoughts.

Also, what happens if you don't pray? I feel as though a lot of times people don't realize that the thoughts they have and/or concerns they voice or feel is a form of prayer, or so in my opinion it is. But, what happens when you don't intend to pray? Does that make one an atheist or maybe illustrate some other belief? I don't know.

Untitled

 I wrote this almost 5 years ago when I was in the process of "finding myself" so to speak.

Sitting in this room, not wanting to relocate,
Thinking of a plan, demise, to stay place,
Wanting to explore, but don’t know how to travel,
Trying to find my being, but unaware if it’s a phase or something I need to unravel,
Thinking to myself the ultimate thesis for my self and,
Wondering if I am straight, bi, or 100% lesbian,
Don’t have the time to figure it out, so I guess I’m stuck in time,
Want to be true to myself, but without others asking why?
So I sit quietly in a chair, logging my thoughts,
Remembering past fantasies, dreams, desires, and wants,
Trying to estimate the exact time my feelings showed change,
But confused of the thought because I don’t remember when,
I just know that a while ago I felt something for her within,
Sitting in this room, not wanting to relocate,
Thinking of a plan, demise, to stay place,
Wondering why I think the way I do, is it reality or imagination,
Do I really want a taste, crave her waist, does this have expiration,
Don’t want to waste time thinking, but I know without thought I’m confused,
Trying to estimate the exact time my feelings showed change,
Unaware if it’s my natural state or just some temporary phase,
I don’t want to question my thoughts but what choice do I have,
Don’t want to bend around my wants because I crave her lust,
Don’t want to one day question why I never gave into her,
Don’t want to question one day did I settle with him because I didn’t know how to open myself to her,
Sitting in this room, not wanting to relocate,
Thinking of a plan, demise, to stay place,
Wanting to explore, but don’t know how to travel,
I want to know if me being with her is something I need to fathom,
I need to know if I am straight, bi, or 100% lesbian,
But don’t really need a definition,
I need to know that if I’m not with her pieces of my life won’t seem missing.

Just typing...

First off, I'm soooo missing my bae...wake uppp, jk...sleep baby.

I was trying to recall the age of which my sleeping patterns started to just...go astray from the "norm." I don't quite remember, I'm thinking my freshman or sophomore year of high school. I definitely remember not sleeping until about 2 or 3 am and having to be up around 7am. I didn't take naps, but wasn't ever "tired." Actually I've pretty much always have been quite the energetic or hyper little thing that is me. I've even gone days without sleeping and have worked full shifts just fine. Hmm...the longest I've been awake is approx 76 hours which is just over 3 days straight. I've gone 2-3 days with no sleep a few times. I've also gone 5 days with about 10 hours of sleep. Sound crazy? -shrugs* This is normal to me.

I like so love the song currently playing on my page[Kings Of Leon-Closer]...

I strongly dislike 'clothes'...

I understand that some parts of the human flesh should not be visible by all of humankind, yet at the same time, why the hell not. If people weren't so "put together" by the thoughts of someone else, perhaps, just perhaps clothing wouldn't be as big of an issue as it is. It's not necessary that I don't like clothes, I dislike the fact that people tend to judge another by their clothing. How dare we as a society look down on, turn our nose upon, or completely look past one based on their outer appearance. Imagine if people weren't so focused on what they had to wear in order to "fit in" or whatever other reason set in their mind along the way for a particular piece of clothing to have made it into their closets. How less constricting would our lives be if we could shower|bath, brush or not brush our hair that we may or may not have and just live. Women and men[but mostly women] would less likely be looked at as sexual objects. Respect may be firmer engraved in peoples minds. Sexual misconduct or harassment maybe wouldn't exist. I can think of vast differences and improvements stemming from the release of clothing constriction. Maybe I'm crazy, or am alone in my thoughts or outlook. -shrugs*

6.21.10

Some people take shit for granted far too often. A lot of times people don't realized how blessed they are because they aren't "where they want to be" forgetting that they are EXACTLY where they are meant to be. "Everything happens for a reason." It's such a simple yet complex statement that holds such truth that it's unbearable to acknowledge during hardships. Some people question their faith, purpose, family, friends but when words are thrown at them, they don't want to hear it. And that's cool...the hardest lessons are learned thru silence in my opinion. 

[I posted this in my FB notes on 6.21.10, but wanted to put it here.]