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 I wrote this almost 5 years ago when I was in the process of "finding myself" so to speak.

Sitting in this room, not wanting to relocate,
Thinking of a plan, demise, to stay place,
Wanting to explore, but don’t know how to travel,
Trying to find my being, but unaware if it’s a phase or something I need to unravel,
Thinking to myself the ultimate thesis for my self and,
Wondering if I am straight, bi, or 100% lesbian,
Don’t have the time to figure it out, so I guess I’m stuck in time,
Want to be true to myself, but without others asking why?
So I sit quietly in a chair, logging my thoughts,
Remembering past fantasies, dreams, desires, and wants,
Trying to estimate the exact time my feelings showed change,
But confused of the thought because I don’t remember when,
I just know that a while ago I felt something for her within,
Sitting in this room, not wanting to relocate,
Thinking of a plan, demise, to stay place,
Wondering why I think the way I do, is it reality or imagination,
Do I really want a taste, crave her waist, does this have expiration,
Don’t want to waste time thinking, but I know without thought I’m confused,
Trying to estimate the exact time my feelings showed change,
Unaware if it’s my natural state or just some temporary phase,
I don’t want to question my thoughts but what choice do I have,
Don’t want to bend around my wants because I crave her lust,
Don’t want to one day question why I never gave into her,
Don’t want to question one day did I settle with him because I didn’t know how to open myself to her,
Sitting in this room, not wanting to relocate,
Thinking of a plan, demise, to stay place,
Wanting to explore, but don’t know how to travel,
I want to know if me being with her is something I need to fathom,
I need to know if I am straight, bi, or 100% lesbian,
But don’t really need a definition,
I need to know that if I’m not with her pieces of my life won’t seem missing.