I just want to stop thinking about you. I will always love you but must you continue to occupy so much space in my mind. You're my first thought when I wake up. Little things remind me of you and I'm ready to be past this point. I just don't know when that will happen. I literally feel like I'm in mourning and it's annoying because you're very much alive. I'll get over the thought of us being together...I know you are not who I'm to spend more of my life with. I wanted to spend my life with you though. I choose you, I chose you...you gave up on us. I still don't know what to do with that but I have no choice but to live without you. Do you know how daunting that is? How earth shattering that is? Why do you have so much power over my emotions? It doesn't matter I'm regaining it. As each day passes, your not being in my life gets easier. It doesn't suck any less, but it gets easier. I'm re-reminding myself that I deserve someone who simply chooses me first. At the same time I know no one is entitled to anyone's anything and that, that is ok. Blah, my head's all over the place.

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living, it was here first, it owes you nothing."